I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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