everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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