Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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