I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it penis luge time yet?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
