You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
