Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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