i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
