he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
