If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
