well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
