Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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