I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
