can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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