Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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