help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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