I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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