It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
