so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my liver is dry heaving
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
