I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
