Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
