Nicole vs. Life
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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