dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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