it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
