Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
