btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
