Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
