I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
