Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Randomize
