eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
