We won't sleep together?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
