Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
