There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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