YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
