Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
