I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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