She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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