So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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