scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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