your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
