My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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