We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so explain again why im purple
no
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
