More tranny stories later!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
