Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
