she was so not down for the gang bang
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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