Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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