If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
