i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
