I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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