Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
