Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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