I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
